An Honest Conversation
by xxSterre
Summary: Captain Swan post 3x06, something I wrote right after the episode, wanting to explore how Emma is suddenly confronted with Hook's confession and the aftermath. ONE SHOT


She didn't like it. She didn't like any of it; the revelation about Neal, the stupid Echo Cave, the stupid confession she had to make to Neal and his stupid answer to it. However, what she'd hated the most was Hook's part in all of this. He was making it real difficult for her to not harbor any feelings towards him and it sucked.

She was relieved somehow that Neal was the only one who'd heard the confession about her not really wanting him to be alive. If _he_'d heard it, she would have been done for. And she couldn't handle that, hell, she couldn't handle any of it.

She was shaken by his sudden revelation. She hadn't expected it and she definitely didn't expect his pained expression while he said it, as if he'd known beforehand that it would be useless. Like he was useless, like he didn't deserve to move on and was destined for anger and loneliness, like he didn't deserve her.

She'd never had seen something like that, someone loving her despite all obstacles. She was the one who didn't deserve his love. She wasn't sure what she felt for him, but the mere observation that she in fact did have feelings for him was something that scared her more than anything.

She knew that he had probed at her walls for a long time now, he'd somehow, by his innuendo and personality, given her more confidence and helped her restore a part of the confident Emma that Neal had broken. And he didn't even know that his beloved Baelfire was the reason she was the way she was; nobody did.

Neal had been the first one to offer her an escape out of being the lost girl, and he'd let her go just like that. And yes she loved him and probably always would, but that wasn't the same as being in love. She hated herself for loving him, because she hated him just as much for what he did to her. No matter his confession, he wasn't forced by the caves to say something true. And yes, she wasn't lying when she made that confession and it was her deepest secret to reveal for Neal, because she'd already spoken about the kiss with Hook.

And the mere fact that she'd blurted it out to her own mother or friend or whatever it was that Mary Margaret stood for, meant that it was definitely more than 'just a kiss' as she'd made it out to be.

What was she supposed to do? And somehow, she felt that Peter Pan had been the cause of her dilemma, because he probably wanted her as distracted as possible from Henry. But he underestimated the power of motherly love if he thought this was going to stop her.

This confession of Hook, saying that he'd finally seen that he could move on, fall in love again. How he'd looked at her, not even expecting an answer. It was just as the kiss, where he hadn't expected her to respond and had left her free to remove herself from him at any given time. How he might be selfish, but only in his wish to make her happy. He let her choose, be free and be brave; it was so different from Neal. She felt secure and happy and appreciated by Hook, whereas Neal made her feel every insecurity, every surge of hurt and pain, every small doubt about her own abilities she'd ever had.

So her supposed true love felt wrong. And the one man who was deemed to be wrong for her, felt nothing but right. And she couldn't deal with it. She wouldn't.

Pan would not win this game. If anything, the troubles led her right back to focus on saving Henry. And they would.

If Neal wanted to prove himself to Emma, then he would do anything he could. And Hook would do anything that would allow her to be happy. Plus, she was certain he'd begun to care about her family too, reaching from her little lad Henry to her father Prince Charming, who apparently knew more about Hook than she did. It bothered her to some extent, but that too, was still something she didn't want to deal with.

Emma looked up and wished for the bottle of rum Hook had shared with her, she could have used a little bit of a distraction in the form of alcohol. Just to numb the constant confusion in her brain. But she knew she'd been away from the group far too long, idly sitting by the water as she stared out over it and was bound to be searched for by someone of their group.

So she found her way back to the clearing, and just as she was to step into their camp, a hand – or rather, a hook – snuck around her wrist and whisked her away again.

'A word, Swan.' Was all he explained, before leading her back to the small pond she'd been sitting by earlier.

"What is it? Did Pan visit you again?" She was anxious to hear what he had to say, she had a feeling it wasn't going to be entirely connected to Operation Cobra Rescue.

'Emma, I…I want you to know that my confession… I will not stand between you and Baelf- Neal, and I will see to it personally that Henry will be rescued safely and timely. It doesn't change anything.'

His eyes, so concerned for her wellbeing, so open and defiant, yet she could see he was masking the small sliver of hurt that remained visible in his eyes. The lost look, that she hadn't been able to see reflected in his eyes for quite some time now, had returned.

"I know it won't. Because you're more than a pirate. You're a good person Hook. You try to do what's right by the people you love, it is reflected in everything you've done so far. For Neal, for Milah.." She hesitated for a moment, before adding it anyways. "And for me. But I can't..I'm not..I don't think I can give you what you want, what you deserve. At least not right now. And I know you know it too. So thank you for understanding and respecting it. And for opening up. I wish I was as brave as you were back there."

He seemed stunned in silence as he heard her answer, searching her eyes for any signs of lying. And then, a genuine smile broke through, but it was quickly transformed into a sly smirk.

'Don't worry lass, in time I will teach you _all_ about opening up.' Emma rolled her eyes at his poor joke, but didn't even try to supress the smile that was tugging at her lips. She was secretly grateful for his never ending innuendos, as they gave her an exit. They provided her with an escape out of heavy conversations and he was the only one who had been both so helpful yet infuriating on the matter. But she was able to compose and pretend all was fine once more, thanks to him.

'Just shut up and go get some firewood or something.' He couldn't help but smile at her remark and what it implied - she had remembered the dalliance just as much as he had-, before retorting an 'As you wish', making her grin to herself as she made her way back to camp.


End file.
